NFL

Week 9 Recap

I would love to cover more games for you guys but, due to the results of Sunday’s noon game and my team getting their asses handed to them AGAIN, I was in a drunk coma and missed all the 3pm games.

PHILLY vs NYG
I blame Wentz for this. Oh, and Pederson. What kind of crap ass play calling was that?! Our whole season came to an end with this game. This was our last chance to take the NFC east. How in the holy hell do you throw a pick the second play of the damn game?? But wait, there’s more… More picks. We give UP actual draft picks but hand out picks all over the field. I’m so confused. Just hand the ball off Wentz, can you do that much for me? My receivers looked like garbage, but that’s no surprise. I will, however, give credit to my rookie Treggs. Where have you been all of my life? A deep threat.. wait.. better yet, someone who can actually CATCH?! Mathews, Smallwood and BG can have some love from me too. Back to the fact that we just handed Dallas the division.. Can we play the Browns again? I forgot what it feels like to win.

KC vs JAX

It could be worse, Bortles could be your teams QB. What was going on here? Every time I look up Bortles has his receivers staring in confusion. Jacksonville’s run game wasn’t any better. I’m so disappointed in this team. They drafted the best out of anyone this year, yet here we are, week 9 and you wouldn’t even know. I’m trying to be a better person so I’ll leave this with one positive note… the Jags uniforms look nice.

CLE vs DALLAS
I’m surprised Cleveland was actually holding Dallas to only 7 points for so long. I almost had a tiny glimmer of hope for those first 27 minutes. Can we take a moment of silence for Haden and Thomas? We would like to apologize that you’re stuck in Cleveland and you shall never get to fully flourish in your potential. Side note: Can Ezekiel Elliot please stop with the “eat up” hand motions every time he touches the ball? Dude, you got like 2 yards on the play, you’re abusing the signals here. Dallas fans, I don’t even want to hear you. News flash, its Cleveland. My Eagles already slaughtered them, you’re old news.

DET vs MINN
Vikings are a fraud.

jea 2197 vikings chargers.JPG

DENVER vs OAKLAND
Finally a primetime game worth watching. That’s 2 weeks in a row now that we’ve had an actual football game on Sunday night. Good job NFL, about damn time. I traded in my green for black. How about my Raiders?! Carr under pressure is beautiful. He’s so calm and focused. Hi, Latavius Murray is sent from God. This guy is added to my elite list of players I’ll obsess over this season. Every now and then, the football gods throw us a player as a reminder that this is THE best sport on the planet. The real highlight here? Besides Oaklands punter, of course.. The D. Both teams defenses are looking amazing. Denver’s D is always exciting, but I was more impressed with the Raiders. CB coverage was beautiful. Wow, I had to re read that last line out loud. It’s not too often I get to compliment a CB. *insert the side eye emoji* Huge win for Oakland. AFC >NFC this weekend.

I’ll leave y’all with this……. Thank you Travis Kelce for being you. I’ve come to conclusion that he is my soul mate. My favorite ejection of the day.. Show these refs who’s boss new bae. I absolutely love him. I’m almost sure he is the male version of me.

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