NFL

Week 8 Recap

CINCI vs WASHINGTON [Highlights]

Remember a few weeks ago when the Jets went missing? Not that they’ve been found, just refreshing your memory… pull out the milk carton again.

Has anyone seen Andy Dalton? Let me get this correct, we sent you guys all the way to London just to tie a game? Oh, and to screw another spread for me again. Perfect! As my Twitter friend, Cuffs (@cuffsthelegend) said, leave them all in London!

I really hate that we’re still sending teams overseas to play. Yet another bone I have to pick with the NFL. This game was spent with me in my panties eating Cheerios, switching back and forth between London and Saved by the Bell. If that doesn’t scream “SEND HELP” to the NFL network, I’m not to sure what will. #savetheratings

CAROLINA vs ARIZONA [Highlights]

Did Carolina get their swagger back? No. We all knew Carolina was bound to win a game any time now though. Arizona wants us to believe in them again but I’m not so sure I’m buying in. I feel like the offense is still missing that momentum. The potential they HAVE isn’t being USED. Maybe I need to have a one on one talk with the OC for Arizona…..

NEW ENGLAND vs BUFFALO [Highlights]

Ouch. No McCoy, no offense. This game hurt to watch. Not too much to say.. Brady ripped my guys a new one. I wonder if my man crush, Rex, needs some good ‘ol comforting…

HOUSTON vs DETROIT [Highlights]

Wow! I’m shocked! Good job Texans. I’m not sure how that happened, but get you some. I’ll admit, I took Detroit. I’m glad Houston pulled out the win though. Brock is, well, Brock. For more details on this game, check out ESPN Houston’s Fred Faour’s analysis over at houstonsportsandstuff.com!

OAKLAND vs TB [Highlights]

I only caught the end of this game… just in time to see Oakland miss the FG and send this game into OT. That hurt my heart. What in the holy hell is going on with kickers in this league right now? Do we need to hold a mini camp to re-teach the skill? You guys really don’t want me to go into my kicker rant again. I’ll spare you the agony. I really like Oakland though, they’re my favorite underdog. If you follow my gambling section you’ll understand why. Barely a win, but I’ll keep riding this bandwagon.

PHILLY vs DALLAS [Highlights]

I’d be lying if I said I was confident during this game. At least we finally gave the NFL a primetime showdown. I was lucky enough to catch front row endzone seats tonight.

My D started out alright.. Carson, eh… Not so much. In fact, I call this guy a fraud. Yep. You were my week 1-3 star QB Wentz, now you’re bench worthy. If I give up 6 draft picks for you, you have to show me more. Granted, he’s a rook, I don’t care. I don’t have two seasons to wait around for you kid. Again with the receiving core…. what. The. Hell. Awful. Put a bounty on all of them. Whatsup NYG? I know that salary cap isn’t paying you enough. Venmo app me.

Halftime note? SHUT DOWN THE RUN GAME. I’ve had 7 heart attacks and 9 vodka waters. At least my team can kick the ball. I’ll take it. Mathews once again to save me from cardiac arrest. Push this kid into the endzone. Every time.

One sack.. on Dak. I wanted more. I may be an asshole, but I give credit where credit is due. Dak is that guy. Dallas fans all around me said he sucked tonight. I beg to differ. He may not have had the best night but he led your team to the W.

Hicks. Have I confessed my love to you yet?! That pick?! I’ll take it. It’s times like these I can yell at cowboy fans… “that D tho?!” I can’t really talk crap about my defense. They held on and kept it a close game. Shout out to Fletcher, team 91 was determined tonight.

Sean Lee killed us on the offensive side of the ball. Damn him. He’s the truth. Who’s going to catch? Who’s going to cover? Can we draft receivers and corners?!

I’m a die hard Philly fan, don’t you ever get it mixed up, BUT this game was the ultimate letdown. We COULD have won, we SHOULD have won, but we didn’t. We pretty much just gave Dallas the division. We sure can’t rely on the Giants or Redskins to take Dak down. *insert super eye rolling emoji* I’ll cross my fingers and still support my boys but we HAVE to get it together. I expect way more. We’re the best in the division but we’re not playing like it at all.

Now I’ll crawl back into my cave for the next week until these Dallas fans leave me alone.

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