NFL

Week 7 Recap

PHILLY vs MINNESOTA

I don’t know if it was Saturday night’s booze or Sunday’s awful early plays that are making my stomach hurt.

I’ve been waiting for this matchup since we got rid of Bradford. He threw his first interception of this season to us. *insert evil emoji here* Weird, he finally completed a pass to my Eagles. Figures, he would be accurate when he’s no longer on our roster. Day made, but 3 turn overs in 9 minutes?! Seriously? Hold on guys, let me throw this at you in a different way. Five turn overs in 7 plays.

Before I start praising my boys for this huge win, I have to clear my conscience… Why do my receivers always look so damn confused? I know I’m not the only one seeing this. I’m really getting sick of this crap though. I’m bewildered as to what it is that they do during practice? Do you not remember how to run a basic route? I don’t know, maybe we should try to look up and REACH for the ball? That’s just a suggestion though guys! Huff gets my pass this week, he’s officially exempt from my wrath. Hell of a game from this guy!

How about my boy Mathews? I continue to praise him for this exact reason; HE GETS SHIT DONE. He’s not afraid to take the hits or get beat up out there. He has one mindset, get to the end zone by any means necessary. No need to talk crap when your run game proves it all, right?

Since we’re on the topic of proving ones worth….

Wentz. Hi. Remember that week 1-3 guy we saw? Can we have him back please? I almost died early in the first quarter. What a beautiful pass.. to the opposite team. Wake up out there rook, we need you.

My favorite, yep, that D.

I got all excited watching Barwin strip Bradford of the ball to set up a defensive TD for Jenkins. Who cares that they called it back, Bradford was on the ground so Holly was smiling. McLeod, don’t worry, I see you too. I always get turned on by a little pick action. I could go on for pages but I’ll wrap it up. THAT D THOUGH….. What’s up Dallas? Hope your rook Dak is well rested because my guys are coming for y’all next week. I don’t want to make any early assumptions, but pretty sure its safe to say my defense is ready to eat.

NEW ENGLAND vs PITTS
Can anyone besides my man crush, Rex, stop this team? It’s quite sickening actually. I hate seeing the Pats win every week. Can we see a different team dominate? Anyone? As was everyone, I was looking forward to seeing a healthy Steelers/Pats matchup tonight. The game wasn’t fun for me because Big Ben wasn’t playing. I didn’t get my fix at all.

SD vs ATL
Rivers does it again. Imagine if the Chargers actually had a defense. I give them kudos though, they hang on to teams, dodge blowouts and cover point spreads. How about Atlanta’s kicker blowing the game and sending them into OT? Kickers, you have one job…. kick. Get it together and take notes from Lambo. A side fantasy note, the one week I pick up Henry and the kid does absolutely nothing. No, seriously, nothing. I got a whole ONE point. In fact, I think that was a courtesy point that yahoo sports just threw at me out of pity.

 

ARIZONA vs SEATTLE
Well guys, who guessed the combined score of THIS game accurately? *crickets* It’s been a while since I’ve witnessed an ending tie game. I can’t help but giggle. While Goodell was asleep dreaming of more billions, NFL fans were busy blowing up his twitter feed in outrage towards these game rules. Yo, commissioner, how about you go ahead and cut us  a check for this TIE GAME that ruined our point spreads! What a waste of 4 hours of my life…..

Oh well, the two best corners in the league were supposed to battle it out. Problem is, I only saw one show up. I wasn’t impressed with this game at all, go figure. Arizona completely dominated the first half. The “Legion of Boom” was NOT boomin’ tonight. I hate to even say that because I really enjoy watching those guys.

I didn’t expect Palmer to pass so much against Seattle. I honestly thought the Cardinals would rely on their run game tonight. Jesus, Johnson is truly amazing. I’ve tried to trade my whole damn squad to pick him up on fantasy, fail. He’s honestly the best RB in the league right now. I usually don’t care for the offensive side of the ball, but this guy excites the hell out of me. He does it all and he’s damn fun to watch.

Sooooooo. These two team’s kickers? Not so fun to watch. I can’t even pronounce either of their names so I won’t even attempt to type them. Two words.. What.. The..

Well guys, what did we learn from week 7? Kicking is definitely not our area of expertise. I’m going to go ahead and blame Josh Brown for all this bad juju.

Quick shout out to my girls at Tight Ends. I figure, why not end this week recap with a little eye candy for you guys! Whenever I’m in town, this is my go-to spot to cover games. Holly enjoying football with hot chicks in booty shorts? Who would have guessed.

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