Warning: The following mini recaps are done by a female… who’s capable of reading your basic b— routes.
PHILLY vs CAROLINA First off, I would like to announce that my Eagles will be attending your 2018 SB. In case you missed that amazing (best game of the ENTIRE season so far) TNF game, the Eagles put Cam to sleep. You can’t run from this D! Too far?… Gotcha. Wentz for President!
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) October 16, 2017
HOUSTON vs CLEVELAND Texans? I mean, what do you guys want me to say? Watson is your future… But you played the worst franchise team in the league. Sorry, but no one gets credit for beating the Browns and their 17th starting QB of the season. Enjoy your Papa John’s pizza and that tied 3-3 spot in the AFC South.
GB vs MINNESOTA Let’s take a live look at Green Bay… Rodgers is dead. Along with the bank accounts of everyone who parlayed this game.
Aaron Rodgers to have surgery, #Packers moving ahead with Hundley & Callahan at QB.
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) October 16, 2017
MIAMI vs ATLANTA Someone tell Cutler I owe him a pack of smokes for bringing my spreads back to life. I may have taken the under dogs here and… Won! *evil grin*
— Kiko Alonso (@elbravo_47) October 16, 2017
BALTIMORE vs CHICAGO I have a question for Baltimore Ravens fans… How do you describe your team? Like… Are you guys decent? Are you trash? You’re more up and down than me on my… never mind. Yuck. (That’s in reference to the Ravens, not my woman comment).
NYG vs DENVER Look who’s risen from the dead! The trillion dollar NYG defense, that’s who! Who needs receivers when your defense shows up to pick off every other pass Denver threw?! Don’t let all the exclamation points fool you, I still wasn’t impressed with this snooze fest game.
— New York Giants (@Giants) October 16, 2017
INDY vs TENNESSEE I’d LOVE to give you guys highlights from the overly exciting MNF game, but I was busy catching up on my Telemundo soap operas. Kate Del Castillo > Jacoby Brissett