GB vs CHI
What’s more exciting than this TNF game? My physics class… lab… study group… my mono toned professor?! I’m disappointed. I thought this would be a fun rival game. What a snooze fest. Chicago, you’re a fraud. Go home. And take your QB and all 17 of the picks you gave up with you.
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) September 29, 2017
MIA vs NO
A live look at the London game…
16 flags in the 1st half. Either the refs were still drunk or the players were still high off the Benadryl they were forced to eat on the plane ride over. Either way, I’m jealous. Why did any of us even wake up for this game? Look at Cutler making history! And by history, I don’t mean statistically speaking. I mean, fans are begging to the football gods to bring back their AGGIE QB. As an Aggie fan, never thought the day would come when people would beg for an A&M QB to start.
HOU vs TENNESSEE
I didn’t watch this game. I saw the final score and my initial thought was… shit. The football gods got drunk and forgot to turn on the game. Then someone told me Mariota got injured. I could understand a loss with him out… but 43 points?! You let the Texans beat you by 43 points?! Even with a dead QB, this is unacceptable Tennessee. This is NOT college football, this is the fricking NFL ya bums. Texans fans, enjoy your free sonic slushy, you earned it!
PHILLY vs SD
I had to completely delete my initial cap of this game. It was me praising my Eagles. And then the second half happened. I love my team, and for 89% of the game we look amazing… and then we give up ridiculous plays. HUGE “did that really fricking just HAPPEN” type of plays. Plays that look almost as disgusting as my CBs. I’m sure that the green hair kid from LSU is a great guy. He’s hot, he looks like he donates to charity, would totally sign your boobs type of guy… But how much longer is his contract with my team?! Can I get Darby and Jones in STAT?!
— Los Angeles Chargers (@Chargers) October 1, 2017
INDY vs SEA
Wtf was this? A game? How about that 2pt conversion attempt? Gross. I’ve seen HS plays better than that Indy. I’d like to know where to place my vote to pick the prime time night games. I know that after I see Carrie Underwood’s amazing legs walk past the screen, that’s the end of it. That WAS the SNF excitement. From then on, Goodell will make us suffer a slow death of boredom and booze.
Garbage team of the week?
This is easy. NYG. Apparently, Eli had a great game… Which only leaves me to assume the trillion-dollar defense screwed this one up. If you know OBJ personally, please tweet at me and let me know that he’s okay and not on suicide watch. As an Eagles fan, I am truly concerned.
And now a list of Week 4’s dead players:
Carr (I didn’t break him this time…)
Cook (My favorite… I blame Bradford for this)
Carson (Yeah, I don’t know who he is either but Seattle likes him)
Mariota (Way to go Houston. Assholes. You just had to rig the divisions, didn’t ya?)
J Jones (No, Unfortunately not Jerry Jones)
Sanu (RIP to my FF flex)
NYG (See whole roster)
Still dead players:
Sproles (Currently laying in a body bag. *sigh* my heart hurts)
Not so LUCKy (Set to return Week 22 of next season)
Bradford (Never coming back, not that anyone cares because Keenum is a superstar)