EAGLES vs COWGIRLS
The Super Bowl Sunday night was a blast! If we can just erase the entire first half, I would appreciate it. I’ll admit, I was so drunk that I didn’t even know my kicker died. I thought we were running all these 2pt conversions just to be ballsy. Anywho, Darby and his ankle were healed by the football gods (and the great trainers at our facilities in Philly) and WOW is this kid worth the wait. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been able to brag on a CB. *insert tears of joy* PS– if you’re a Dallas fan, you got OWNED. You’re not even allowed to speak to me until 2018. You know why? Because WE “dem boys” now. *evil grin*
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) November 20, 2017
STEELERS vs TITANS
I’d like to start by saying…
F you Steelers of Pittsburgh. Your 2017 unstable team of the year is… (cue the black and yellow song) This team goes from OT with garbage teams to blowing out their next opponent and back to the garbage again. I can’t win with Big Ben.
VIKS vs RAMS
Battle of the Who’s For Real.
Who was more drunk? Me or the Vikings kicker? Never mind that. Keenum looked… great. This isn’t a typo. It’s time Holly gives credit where credit is due.
TEXANS vs CARDINALS
….Speaking of Keenum (too soon? Okay..) Well. This was such an intriguing game that I chose to do cardio instead of waste away on the couch to THIS. Congrats though Texans, you caught a win! And Savage threw it to you. Weird! I mean, you had to sacrifice another player but you’re one game closer to that 9-7 goal!
🏃 🏈 🏃 🏈 🏃 🏈 🏃
Get the story behind the #Texans relay race TD celebration. 💯
— Houston Texans (@HoustonTexans) November 20, 2017
GIANTS vs CHIEFS
The Giants appear to have come alive… Too bad nobody cares. Sorry guys, you’re about 11 weeks too late. RIP to the KC Chiefs that fooled us all.
BUCS vs DOLPHINS
Tampa Bay blows, but Miami blows MORE. Yuck. These highlights weren’t even worth watching. All I can say is… Cutler is awful. Like more awful than Brock in his prime awfulness. I’m beginning to think he concussed himself on purpose. PSA: The entire state of Florida is banned from the NFL this year.
PACKERS vs RAVENS
I’m still sketch on the Ravens. You can’t judge them off of a team with no defense or offense right now. The Packers can’t put up points to save Rodger’s soul. The day he retires is the day this entire GB team does too. *sigh*