It’s time for our quarterly NFL report card.
Let’s start this on a positive note…
Chiefs, Rams, Jags, Bears. You’re safe. Keep rollin. Holly approved. (A)
Green Bay and their Savior STILL reign. The Pats are rusty but STILL Brady-ish. (B-)
The Team that everyone over hypes that we know will just decline by mid season: insert Bengals of Cincinnati here (C-)
The Housewives of Pittsburgh are more busy prancing around the locker room making faces behind each other’s backs than they are making plays on the field. Do better Steelers. (F)
Seahawks you get a (B) Because this empire was supposed to crumble… and yet here we are. Me and Wilson that is..
Dolphins and Titans, you’re under rated. For now. Here’s your 5 seconds of fame. Soak it up. (B)
(F) is for Falcons. You can’t even save yourselves. Name a game you haven’t blown… I’ll wait.
The Buffalo Bills & Oakland Raiders are an actual representation of my life. Cue the rebuilding process, just waiting for a comeback season. (F)
TampaBay Buccs. Well that was fun while it lasted.
Congrats Texans on your first win. It only took you 4 weeks and an overtime game to achieve it. You get an (L) from me. For Loser.
When Kirk Cousins is your teams highlight that’s a red flag. Vikings you are still a fraud. (C+)
Chargers do better. Cardinals, throw the towel in. Niners RIP. Colts you’re playing too safe, and no one likes you. Redskins, I’m not sure how you even made it this far.
Browns, you’re fun and full of new talent. I like you. Dallas, your offense is garbage and your coach is a joke. Enjoy the slums.
Philly. You need some Thrive Plus because hang overs are REAL.
Saints , Lions & Ravens. Grade yourselves because I don’t know what the hell you are.
How will your team look by Week 8?