Playoff Recap 1

My favorite time of the year… Playoffs! I’m feeling kind of game show-ish tonight… 

Unfortunately since I killed Carr a few weeks ago, we all knew the Raiders were doomed. The whole season, down the drain…….. To who else but your Houston Texans.

I will admit, I was a bit surprised to see the final score. I honestly thought the game would end 13-10. Neither myself nor anyone else thought either team would manage to put up points… Except Vegas. Those sneaky bastards screwed us all on the O/U.

Final grade on this game? Ill give a C to these two Varsity B teams. Hurts me to say this but…. Pass the torch Oakland, you’re toast.


There was always that one random kid who barely made it through the season to the ALMOST end but just couldn’t quite cut it…. Miami, your time here is done.

Final grade? B. Only because Pittsburg SMASHED y’all.. And quite frankly, it was amusing for me to watch.


If there were ever a more fraud group than the Detroit Lions, show yourselves now (minus the Dolphins, we’ve established this already)

Final grade? F. This game was shit miserable to watch. I even mixed my usual vodka water to a beer and it still did nothing. The highlight of this game was Seattle players fighting each other and stealing TDs from teammates. It is with great pleasure that I get to say this… DETROIT,  You have been eliminated.


I decided I would be nice for a change…

NYG still have that expensive, sportsgasmic (totally made this word up) D but they just couldn’t keep it up long enough to finish. Cue my perverted comparison thoughts NOW. Let’s just hope Rodgers and Cobb can play this great next week so I can flourish in the downfall of the Dallas Cowbitches. *evil grin*

Final grade? A. Because who doesn’t deserve an A after that Hail Mary?! NYG… You know how this goes… You are the weaker link.


Random closing thoughts….

So glad my Eagles are all safely at home watching HGTV. It’s nice to get to be a sideline fan during games like these. It opens so many more windows of shit talking for me. #FlyEaglesFly…Into next season.

Dallas fans… You little annoying shits. I had to log off of twitter. You guys couldn’t wait for GB to seal the deal so you could start spitting out “stats.” *insert MAJOR eye roll*

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